Sick...

Sometimes I wonder why I do it to myself... is it because I have head sick disease that just makes me cheat the system that is my body and put junk into it that just ends me on the floor of the bathroom at 2 in the morning tossing up whatever I ate hours before. I personally think its because the world has lots to offer and its only fun if you enjoy it all. And well. they have yet to design a gluten free sugar free puff patry. And that means no croissants, no pretty tarts or desserts and well... nothing fun in life... and so I did it. This holiday season I was cranky and toilet friendly the entire season because I ate stuff that I knew I shouldn't have drank sugared up soda and enjoyed myself. Except at night. It was worth it in the moment, but the headaches, the tummy aches and overall raw throat makes me wonder... why am I sitting here with a butterscotch lollipop when I know its going to get to my head and my stomach at the same time. I hate allergies, I hate having diseases and I hate the fact that a miracle will have to happen before I can live to see a cure for my disease.